Getting right to the heart of matters; It's the heart that matters more

I have to be honest; I typically write the title of my blog posts after I write the post. Today this is not the case. Do not be surprised if the title is completely off topic by the end of this thing.

I have been thinking a lot about the proverbial heart in the last week or so. I’m sure it has everything to do with it being “spring” time and I’m seeing all of these relationship changes going on around me, both positive and negative. I have this innate fear about relationships because I believe that I see them in a much different way than many others do.

A wise man once told me that your job in a relationship is to help bring the other person closer to God and thus help them get into Heaven. This makes great sense to me but I think instills fear in others. Why? Because it requires us to open up and I mean really open up. It’s obvious that you can’t hide your broken parts from God but it’s simple to hide them from others. Less obvious is hiding the broken parts from yourself. This proves to be far more destructive and dangerous than the other two combined. How do you fix what you do not believe to be broken?

Because I have this firm belief in bringing your significant other closer to God, I don’t really have a problem with some spiritual distance between parties. Obviously there at least needs to be belief on both sides but I truly believe that you don’t need to be at the same place on God’s path to flourish in a relationship.

I have to be honest, I’m heart broken right now and for a lot of different reasons. The failing relationships around me are only playing a minor role to be honest. I see struggle all around me and it make my heart ache for these people. Friend, foe, former significant other, brother, sister, I see them all. It worries me and I’m OK with that. I would be more worried if it didn’t.

Some of the people I’m thinking about will be reading this post. For them; I feel for you and I want to share in the struggle. Feel free to seek me out, night or day. I do not need sleep as much as I want to help.

A few months back I said a phrase in a very specific, yet similar situation. The more I think about this phrase the more and more I truly believe it. "Lean on the people in your life. We'll hold you up." – 2008-10-28 11:57PM. I realize that at the time I was referring specifically to myself and 3 others as the “people” but I’m really just referring to myself now.

I used to think that I had a pretty big heart with lots of room to love others. Then I met someone who, I had thought, put me to shame. Now I have come to realize that their heart wasn’t actually that big, it was their mind that was supposedly putting out all of this love. You may need to read that last sentence again. I did say that their mind was putting out all of this love. Yeah, that’s not possible. I realize now that my heart will continue to grow. If it doesn’t, I’m doing something wrong or am in the wrong place in my life.

I guess it’s about time to wrap this up. So people, I have lots of room for all of you in my heart. I say again, feel free to seek me out. I’m here for you.

Oh and the title reference can be found here.

--B