...There's just one problem; I don't play guitar.

I have been a little bummed out lately. This usually comes from being beaten down in some aspect of my life. Right now, it’s my health. I’ve been sick with this stupid bronchial infection for about a week now and before that it was the rollercoaster temperature changes messing with my allergies.

I wish I could say that the worst thing a sickness does is bum me out but it also takes all of my confidence. It makes me doubt everything, even myself. I’ll admit, it’s been a rather self-loathing couple of weeks. All I have are questions and the real problem is that I haven’t bothered to ask for answers, from anyone, and I mean anyone.

I hope tonight will clear up some things for me. I could use it.

I heard that one of my friends has actually written her first “real” song. I’m of the opinion that there is no such thing as a song that isn’t “real.” I have to admit, I’m eager to hear it. I hope she’ll let me do so. On a personal note, my writer’s block is gone, so I’m considering taking the evening to write some things down or at least type them anyway. We’ll see what comes out. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get music that will match the subject matter.

That’s always been a real problem for me. I can usually come up great lyrics or chord progressions but I can almost never get the two to match up. My most dismal failure in this area has also been my greatest triumph. When I wrote “Best Friend” it was intended to be an angry song. Being best friends was a bad thing in this context but once I got the music to it, everything changed. The song was happy if not giddy. The tone was completely changed. It was horrible.

Then I realized something that changed how I looked at the song entirely… it was what I really wanted. I had grown past that point. This wasn’t an angry message anymore. It was a positive one of trust, faith and hope.

For the first time ever, I’m taking my guitar to retreat. I’m actually going to take some time out and play. Maybe even take some requests. If you know of something you’d like to hear, let me know ahead of time so I can be sure to grab the music.

And now for something completely different…

Why do we stretch ourselves too thin? Why do we push ourselves to the breaking point and then are left to pick up what few segments survive? I really wish I had the answer for this, not because I’m dealing with it but because several of my friends are. You know who you are and I feel for you, I’ve been there.

I’m actually going to modify my usual birthday weekend activity for the sake of these people. For the first time in a long time, I don’t want to be by myself in a relaxing setting for my birthday. I want those around me who need to relax to come too. That’s why I’m inviting a select few people to get away for a weekend later this month. Here is the literary: Nothing. That’s right we’re planning to do nothing and I think it will be everything we hoped it would be.

I’ll be inviting, in person, soon. In fact, one invite has already gone out.

OK, I think it’s about time to wrap this up. I’m sorry this blog post wasn’t all classy and inspirational like the others have been but I just don’t really feel up to it at the moment. Maybe if you catch me tomorrow or this weekend, I’ll be in a better mood.

Title Reference: Its one of the song’s I’ve written. What really sucks is that I lost the file that had all of the words and music in it. Maybe I’ll get around to rewriting it this weekend.